The Monkey

Tonight I’m going to tell you a story.
I promise it’s not angsty, sweary or gory.
You’ll get that next week, if you happen to stay.
No this tale’s about monkeys and my working day.

Some months ago when reviewing a crash.
I saw something funny, I started to laugh.
Penny leaned over, she pointed to Lee.
Then all of the office had wanted to see.

Cause there on the screen was a tale most bizarre.
About buying a monkey, then crashing a car.
Was it a real monkey? We were dying to know.
I picked up the phone, to get the down low.

The monkey at fault, wasn’t a baboon, chimp or ape.
Or a ring tailed lemur, that had caused the scrape.
She’d paid for the monkey with counterfeit money.
Then gone on the run, finding it funny.

Suffice to say a chase had ensued.
She’d pulled on the main road, which started a feud.
With the guy on the main road, who requested a fight.
So they went to a garage, to settle things right.

Three fellas all swinging and her screeching loud.
The fight of a season, it was drawing a crowd.
And what of the monkey? I hear you all say.
Well in all the clamour it ran away.

So this is the moral she learnt in the crash.
If you want a monkey, best pay with real cash.

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