Wish You Weren’t Here

This is completely fictional – the fever dream of a writer forced to write out of their comfort zone!  It’s been over a year since Ed Sheeran’s fall from grace, but now the plucky Singer-Songwriter is planning his comeback tour – starting with Manchester’s Victoria station. We’re told that the 35 year old was spotted […]

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Kissing Frogs

It was an auspicious day in Camelot, though perhaps all days were auspicious. Yes, it was especially auspicious, the bard even announced it. “Today is the day!” Or perhaps it was just dawn, the bard seemed especially efficient at announcing all things relating to King Arthur. It seemed the bard was especially effusive first thing […]

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The Slug

If I hadn’t offered to park the car, I’d never have turned into a slug. Picture the scene, four women, one white BMW – that ridiculous NCR car park in Manchester. The one with the car trap walls, looming with the promise of lost no claims bonuses. Presentation, t-minus 30 minutes. Not a single space […]

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Panic! At the social event

Right! Right. Right, right, right. Right? I’m here. Being here is the main thing. Being here with three cannibals, four axe murderers and one woman, so beautiful that she intimidates me. Right. I’m sure they’re all nice people. Well, maybe not the axe murderers. If you axe murder, you’re probably not a nice person. Cannibals […]

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The Monkey

Tonight I’m going to tell you a story. I promise it’s not angsty, sweary or gory. You’ll get that next week, if you happen to stay. No this tale’s about monkeys and my working day. Some months ago when reviewing a crash. I saw something funny, I started to laugh. Penny leaned over, she pointed […]

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