The writing blog of a random explorer, aspiring writer, reader, photographer and general awkward thief of spoons.
It was an auspicious day in Camelot, though perhaps all days were auspicious. Yes, it was especially auspicious, the bard even announced it. “Today is the day!” Or perhaps it was just dawn, the bard seemed especially efficient at announcing all things relating to King Arthur. It seemed the bard was especially effusive first thing […]
If I hadn’t offered to park the car, I’d never have turned into a slug. Picture the scene, four women, one white BMW – that ridiculous NCR car park in Manchester. The one with the car trap walls, looming with the promise of lost no claims bonuses. Presentation, t-minus 30 minutes. Not a single space […]
There never seemed to be a time before The Grump, they said that he’d been installed at the same time as the computer systems. No one knew when the server had come to be, but someone had whispered that the IT department placated Satan with offerings. The servers were run on Windows Vista, stuck together […]
I had to write a performance monologue for my college open mic session so I decided to tell the story of The Spoon Thief. As my writing blog is named for this tale I thought it was only fitting to post it here too! Tonight I want to tell you a story. No, not the […]
It took him less than an hour to forge his rope launcher, which consisted of a length of washing line, the base of an office chair which he convinced himself would provide a counter-weight and the aforementioned coat hanger. Google had suggested several interesting knots, in the end though he settled for the knot he’d […]
On this particular day Scott had been barraged by a number of menial administration tasks; everything from emails to making sure the printer was loaded with fresh A4 paper. There was a mystery which burned into his very sense of purpose. A mystery which pervades most offices. Why, with a bin no more than 10 […]
So this is utter farce which I wrote due to the lovely but slightly odd people I work with. It’s utterly tongue in cheek and comical but I had such a lot of fun writing it. I didn’t really have any silly pictures to add with it, so here’s a picture of a tit. Hope […]